because everyone's doing it

when do you say no. and when is yes appropriate?
just because they're all doing it and you don't know and you're not too sure but you wanna and they wanna but you feel like it's a no?

i don't know. i am in chaos and confusion.
i keep seeing people, people with skins of all variety, different shoes and socks, the way they walk and talk, everything. i see them all and they're so different, all of them. i am one of them, but one in twenty thousand. in being so i am lost and blank. i am nothing to be appraised, nothing special or marvellous or exceptional. every person who walks or runs or saunters past me, every person i pass - they all have aspirations, intelligence, ambitions. they're like me, because they all want to be somebody. but I, in this headache of creativity and ego and crisis, i am alone. i am unable to distinguish the superficial from the real, the friend from foe. it's a major blur before my eyes. i lose my balance easily. my brain presses against my skull. my heart flutters and my legs go numb.