foolproof break-up methods

here's how to break up with almost anyone.

The geek: "I’m quarantining your virus out of my system."

The gleek: "Mercedes, I’m gay."

The jock: "We’ve been having a losing season, and I’m quitting the team."

The non-conformist: "I’m trying out for the cheerleading squad."

The mime:

The trekkie: "Live long and prosper. Just not with me."

The vampire: "I want to be with someone more…tan."

The pirate: "The rum is gone."

The overachiever: "I just need to spend more time slacking off, you know?"

The clinger: "I have ebola. And it's highly contagious."

The theater nerd: "The curtain has closed on the stage of our affair."

The foreign exchange student: "I’m having you deported."

The werewolf: Why would anyone want to break up with a werewolf? They have jetpacks!

The band dork: We started out with perfect pitch, but now I think we've gone a bit flat.

The cheerleader: the pep has gone out of our relationship

The HP fan: I'm sorry, Romilda, but your love potion has worn off

The redneck: Darlin', this relationship is going over like a turd in a punch bowl.

The twihard: Edward's not real and neither was this.

original article here here


p.s. who breaks up with a pirate? the rum would never run out if i had a pirate in my crew if you know what i mean...