It's already February.

                                           It's already February.

February is cold bath water.

February is an uncomfortable shoe.

February is the last in line

To a long and never-ending queue.

February month is my bread and butter.

It washes away like rains in gutters.

February is my hit and miss.

And when I'm sad I like to rhyme my words like this.

the Upstream swim

In your wildest years long before
Your Fall.
You had a friend who knew you well.
She, your chosen confidante,
One to whom You would seek leave to disclose
And without a will to disenchant,
Hope to God she'd like your prose.


Schooled by life's chances,
Together you took them well.
Upon her bestowed you clearance
Of all there was to tell.
Perhaps when first love failed,
Perhaps when sights were blurred,
And wth a single handful of Providence,
Twas your friend who truly heard.

My dear friend and I,
Made a blithe and lively team,
Our larks were filled with tricks and smirks,
Good we were,
best was just a dream.


And I, like salmon in the waters,
Slippery and cold as death,
Writhe the brawny Muscles in my fish-tail,
And take to Swimming briskly upstream.

the birth of Venus

the lunar phenomenon that night had a most curious affect,
we chomped our bits, as if by a spell
while the floodgates of evening threw us aground.
the grand molten orb laughed at our demise
and made our stomachs swell.

not unless bearing child,
had we ever been so cumbersome.
moon's motherly grace forgave us,
adopted our bastards to the wilde.

a child-so high -you are.

Ye lovers of the picturesque, away and see



Beautiful Balmoral, near by the River Dee;


There ye will see the deer browsing on the heathery hills,


While adown their sides run clear sparkling rills.

william topaz mcgonagall, beautiful balmoral

her tender-taken breath

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

John Keats

hmm whatcha say?

Plans

This night is damn cold. It's kind of chilly out there tonight. We had plans, I thought. I was with you. Right now, there's nobody here I know. Let me just cry in front of you, without talking about it because I don't want to. What happened to 'i love you' ? my head is held heavy. the dust has only just begun to fall. oily marks have appeared on the walls, where pleasure moments hung before. these pleasures are now only memories. my seperation grief is such that i cannot go back. I grieve that those days are over, and now I do not know where to go.

Write me love letters, like Mr. Big to Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. In the end what can we do but sit around a table with our girlfriends and drink cosmopolitans? Today it still feels like all I have to wear is my wedding gown, with nowhere to live because I've sold my apartment. Once I have found my love I will pass it on to you and wish you well.

I would like to go to the ballet.
I would like to visit the bookshop.
I am going to make a documentary.
I am not going to sit around waiting for a man.
I am going to sit drinking on the porch.
I am going to read poetry aloud.
I am going to go to work.
I am going to write everyday.
I shall pick myself up off the ground.
I am going to pray, because I never do.
I will not feel sorry for myself.
I will allow myself to cry.
Don't take crap from anyone.
Make yourself useful.
Do not dread the day when dreaming ends.
Stick to schedules.
Wash your hair everyday in order to wash away any feelings of guilt and sorrow.
Eye out the personal trainer guys at the gym.
Get coffee into your system
Change out of your pyjamas.
Quit always falling asleep in all situations.
Stop talking as I think, thus blurting out stuff that makes no sense.
Clean cracked polish off nails.
Say a prayer.
Don't make excuses.
Drown him in champs with your girlfriends.
Carry tissues
Write it!
I will listen to ridiculous break-up songs.
And silly love songs.

I am who i am.