JUDAS

Lady Gaga, you're pissing off the Catholic Church just like Madonna did in 1989. The question is, who's more powerful? The Mother Monster or the Pope?

Gaga's single JUDAS has been slated by religious groups as 'boring', 'mundane' and 'talentless' idolatry. But what do her little monsters have to say about this pop-culure sacrilege, just in time for Easter?

Her Facebook commentary received mixed reactions. Among a mish-mash of webcam spam, desperate pleas of 'add me i need friends' and 'Gaga you're my idol <##3!,' many followers were disappointed in Gaga's attention-whoring attempt to shock her adoring public with dark imagery.

Quite jump from her previous dance-disco tracks of The Fame Monster.

Firstly, do your homework. Gaga attended a Catholic school for much of her schooling career. The song is not about Judas persay, but refers to the historic figure of the betrayer as a symbol of the men who have deceived her in the past.

Is Gaga selling her soul to the evils of mass media, or is this something a little more sinister?

Be the Honey Bee

People like to play follow the leader.

I've noticed that photographers who think they're overnight bigshots cause sensation with throngs of eager fans who hope to have their pictures taken and put on display in said bigshot photographer's portfolio. I see so much of it. Kiss-assing. My response is simply one massive sigh and multiple shakes of the head. Why can't people go back to doing that truly awesome microphotography shit, like photographing butterfly chrysalises and harvesting honey bees?

People are so boring.

thy Oxygen

I am in need of your time & patience.

We-are-awful

Finally, after years of pretentious hipsterism infecting the city bowl from the bowels upwards, there has been a come-uppance. And it's all in the name of charity, so it's 'nice' enough to avoid a tantrum from disgruntled city trendoids who take themselves far too seriously.

Just when the hipsters thought they could dictate the meaning of 'cool' to every a-store junkie from Kloof to Neighbourhood, some cheeky bastard started a spin-off website. Yes, Cape Town. Now YOU have a say. You get to decide what constitutes cool, and for the website's sub-24 hour run it's not doing too badly. Now you can laugh out loud at the hobo garb of hipsterdom, instead of sniggering to yourself behind your screen every time we-are-awesome 'features' a street kid with zero cred.


           The infinite search for cool has just gotten bigger.

Rebel with a Porsche

As much as we'd love to call ourselves 'the liberated youth,' we cannot deny our submission to branding and mass media.

From birth to weaning to schooling to further studies, we are exposed to the indulgences of consumer culture and the inviting tempatations of wooing advertisers. Forget free decision/agency/buyer's choice/all that other crap. They've got you hooked and will continue to reel you in.




Perhaps you'd like to rebel against consumption? But then, wouldn't you be denying productivity, and profitability by extension? Would you be willing to go without your cellphone or computer, which connect you with the pocket-guzzling tyrants of media? Would you give up your cute car and ride a bicycle, or freeze your credit card?

It's all about convenience. You don't need to clear your conscience completely of worldy pleasures. Hell, you can have both the satisfaction of believing you're doing the right thing, will still enjoying the instant comforts of a McWorld. Why be a rebel with a cause when you can be a rebel with a Porsche?

"Elle a chaud au cul"

If you ever wondered how Duchamp's Mona Lisa readymade had been made into a Dadaist pun, you'll have to say each letter of "L.H.O.O.Q" aloud in French language phonics.



Translated, it reads, 'Elle a chaud au cul."

She has a hot ass.

The actual experience of the Mona Lisa was a little more sublime than that of Duchamp's, who seemed to have an inclination towards toilet humour. After all, he did make a masterpiece out of a porcelain urinal.

Civilians Defend Antiquity

I was struck by this photo found making its rounds on Twitter in January. Amid chaos and anarchy Egyptians civilians came together by linking arms in front of the National Museum to prevent looters from raiding the priceless treasures of antiquity. These artefacts are the property of all Egyptian citizens. This touching gesture epitomizes the sacrement of visual culture, and the importance of a Nations's sacred objects as part of an irreplaceable collection of heritage. Total democracy may be on the horizon but without the wealth of history preserved in this ancient region there would be no history. No past. No future. The world needs Egypt.