Monday, March 28, 2011

Got you Under my Skin

How far would you go to get under somebody's skin? Perhaps not as far as the surgeon's knife, I'm sure.



A woman once chose to have her husband's cremated remains implanted into silicone prostheses so that he could remain 'close to her heart.' Apparently this doesn't only happen on Nip/Tuck.
'That way I'd never really have to part with him at all,' was the reasoning of Sandi Canesco of Australia, who did just that.

I can't decide if this is sentimental in a macabre sort of way or simply a case of severe attachment anxiety.

Aesthetic surgery.

One morning in March, somewhere in the heart of the City, hipsters and yuppies and road hogs and postmen and disgruntled traffic officers woke up yawning and went out to do whatever it is they, well, do. Little did they know that something had changed at the top of Kloof Street that day, something quite small and indistinct, but very much there. Right there on Skyline, the block of flats famous for its advertising potential.You had to look twice as you sipped your vida e caffe latte (skinny), or tickle the brakes of your Mini Cooper ever so slightly as you drove past. Yes,while Cape Town slept (or passed out on a curb somewhere down Castle) Banksy-wannabes came out to slap a big 'fuck you' on capitalism.

Perhaps they had come like cat burglars in the dead of the night, armed with an agenda, stencils and buckets of white paint. Perhaps they had scaled the building unaided, endowed with superhuman powers capable of turning any urban sprawl into a playground.


Images Courtesy: MyCityByNight



Before: I had to blink...twice.

After: The fast food giant's advertisers were not very impressed and quickly censored the offending suffix.

Monday, March 21, 2011

First Home always had the deepest Roots.

'Kak kwaai, eksê.'


Spotted: These two most likely had a recent stint in the slammer, where they must have learned the value of the modified racer, complete with a new coat of paint, booming sound system and super throttle. Square cut and bleached bright blonde, shirtless with piercing eyes, their women are invisible and their trigger-happy reflexes punctuate the streets of Hanover Park, Manenburg and beyond.

I wonder where they were going in that ride?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Why does Democracy mean everything to Everyone but Me?

Bill Cosby said, "If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race."


If you are unable to see Image 5, you will understand that there is simply no need to discriminate on the basis of colour if you yourself cannot distinguish it.




Sunday, March 13, 2011

La Cuisine d'Amour


'How about a pinch of This?'


'Only Cowards cook on low, and Clyde never talks shit.'


'No man is lonely while eating potato and feta cheese Latkes.'

Erysimum

Wallflower self-portrait series by a girl who take such lovely photographs. so lovely that if i could run away with my camera right now and take some nearly as lovely i'd be pretty pleased with myself.





Courtesy: Willow Ships

Manners



Twitterpated.

TOFFIE.


The 2011 Toffie Pop Culture Festival at the Cape Town City Hall  running from 24- 26 March was a little steep for students at R500 a ticket. The good news is that theYou & Me & Everyone We Know Market (yes, everyone does know each other) will be exhibiting a lovely variety of pop-up shops selling furniture, fashion, jewelry, books and various product design, including:

 ▶Bibliophilia, ▶Skermunkil, ▶The Summit, ▶Margot Molyneux, ▶Garden up, ▶Anomali, ▶Vamp, ▶2Bob, ▶Thingking and many more.

the ever-changing world of art and design is as alive as the city itself. don't miss what the crop of 2011 has to offer.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Juju Effect

               A few anecdotes about our endearing 'Juju,' courtesy of Facebook's public newsfeed.  

"Muammar Gaddafi or Julius Malema . . . .why, pick, tar and feather the pair of them!"


"Julius Malema got kidnapped, these people are requesting R1 billion, else they burning him alive with petrol.. Any donations are welcome, I've already sent 2litres!"


"... Koos was walking through his veld one day when he spots some laaities drinking water from his farm dam.He shouts, "Moenie die foken water drink nie, dis vol foken kak en kolera - julle sal vrek!" The main laaitie says, "I'm Julius Malema, and I refuse to speak your language, you must speak English to me!"Koos replies, "Use boaf hands, Boet, you gets much more waters into your mouf that way."
 
 



Courtesy: Hayibo

Seatbelts, ANYONE?



This is my Blog. I write it. I run it. I promote it, however annoying it may be, and in doing so, I have the right to say just what the hell I want in it. Thank you.

That being said, I'd like to take this opportunity, and to my readership (if anybody's out there, or if, I fear, I am simply delusional and rambling for my own pleasure ad nauseum) lament at the terribly bad driving I have had the misfortune of encountering today. Just today.

In a single working day, I have  been nearly pushed out of my own turning lane at a traffic light by a disgruntled soccer mom, elevated in her four-wheel drive monster, dripping with a pugently bad suburban attitude; in addition, a Golden Arrow bus nearly flattened me as it pulled out of a bus stop without checking its blind spot. Not that buses can do so themselves, but I feel referring to a non-living, yet animate vehicle does the story more justice than giving dynamism to the sad low-life who was driving it.

Please be careful on the roads. You wouldn't behave nearly so piggishly if you actually had to face the person whom you offended, without making a quick getaway as soon as you made the offence.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Scenes from Oscar's Best Picture

 Recognize these scenes?

If you've taken yourself down to Cinema Nouveau lately to get a load of the fuss this year's Oscar-winning Picture has created, you'll probably know that towards the end of The King's Speech, when Colin Firth is delivering the most eloquent speech of his career (and far more eloquent than his acceptance words for Best Actor, which he was awarded with for this role) the following scenes flash by.

I realised then that I had been in London on that very day, the day they were shooting The King's Speech, right there on Buckingham Palace Square. On the Victoria Memorial sat men in tops and coats, waiting about in the cold, as if they'd arrived from 1934 and were quite happy to integrate with the modern sightseers snapping photos. I was one of those. These are some of the photos I took, quite unknowingly, of the set of The King's Speech while I was in London on a cold January afternoon, 2010.





Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Thought fox



To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep

The Fool's Speech

People seem to talk a great deal, but never really say anything very clever.

Most of what people say is nonsense and gossipy, or conceited. Or an account of a bad day. Truth is, I don't care about your bad day, because it probably wasn't that bad, and if it was, well, it probably wasn't worse than mine, or anybody else's. Shut up or rehearse your next session of mindless banter off of the back of a cereal box.



I reckon if everyone thought once more before they decided to open their greasy gobs the world'd be a much quieter place.

And maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Seed.

can't find the word, you know it only when you see it,
it seems to be lost in your brain, under folds of sinew and memory.


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