Now I’m fighting with my parents and then trying to be better but it never works out and it ends up happening all over again. One big mess where we’re all fuckups. I often feel like the blackest sheep of all the black sheeps in every family there ever was.
I can’t wait to get married and collect dozens of pairs of shoes and receive full dinner services and move furniture around. I can’t wait to get out of here, feel a fresh new breeze and be independent. I want to stop getting things all wrong. I want to get it right for a change. I sometimes feel like I have some kind of dyslexia in this confusing life, like I can’t just be competent and correct, I always make mistakes. Stupid ones too, because I lose my head. The future could look bright, if only I just kept my eyes on the prize. The future could look bright, if only I would just make this right, fix this brokenness, BANG! and I killed it.