Sunday, June 8, 2008

[save my Life from slow Motion]

I am considering. I am considering myself. I am trying to self actualize. I would like to write a book, a story of me, something new and fresh and glamorous, but real. I keep thinking about it, wanting to start but where? I can’t do it now - that would be unwise, because I have to focus on my last year of high school first. How would it be? Like this, a diary? I want to write something personal. Something that speaks, like a voice in words. I really wish I knew more about people, though I'd like to keep it that people know little about me.

A lot of things scare me. Inspiration doesn’t come standard. I’m scared that I would find my inspiration and that I’ll dry up in this heat. I’m scared of drying up and being useless, because I have gifts, but what if they were to be taken from me? Oh God, I am beyond help. Someone cure me from this self destruction. Save my life from slow motion. Make this my daily torture. I am so sick of fading into the background. I’m so tired of not feeling happy with who I am, because I am what I am…but this torture is such that I just cannot feel content being just that – me. Should I, shouldn’t I? Could we? Shouldn’t we? Would you call me perfect? That’s all I want. Perfection. I hate it.


No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...