been wanting to write but it's not coming.been too much alone in myself.need to stop it.
(if only everything didn't keep reminding me of the past...)
it is as though i am trying to skip ahead of my mere eighteen years and do everything all at once. then, i am politely kicked under the table and told to finish my dinner in silence. how can i? when all i want to do is swallow it all without chewing?
in truth, i would like things to be how they were before the fall. before i got hurt and someone left. but i don't want to lose what i have now. believe this, i do not want him back. i have said countless times before that i never want to see his face again. i just wish i did not have to count.
this has brought about underage thinking, during which i am crossed by thoughts of fatherhoods, yes/no suspicions, purgatory, unfinished conversations and
i promise i'll never leave you's.
advice to self: chew your life, girl. chew and don't rush.
1 comment:
Aimee you are just acting like a child rby thinking and righting that ! Life isn't about always have a good time ! I guess you was feeling realy good before he left because you keep talking about the past ! I am not always thinking back of S.A or mexico and i was feeling realy great there (S.A. not always but still) ! If you can't go on you will never be able to have anything serious . I am not taking you as a joke but i know that for you , even if you don't realise it , your love was more like a game . I said WAS now i don't realy know anymore .
One day i told you that i understand why he run away and you started to shout at me saying that you were somethig like :"the nicest girlfriend" or something like that . I don't think you ever been like that with me and if you were then maube you should think a bit more about what OTHERS can feel and why .
I do find you exeptional and great , but if you are focus like that about you friend in state of people who realy love you like your family , you will always feel lonely .
Friend's are NEVER making big sacrifice for their other friend . Only good friends do . And you need big sacrifice to feel that you are not alone . Everybody do .
Nobody realy ever done sacrifice for me exept Matt and my family . Your family done sacrifice for you , don't say no , i know it . THEY LOVE YOU !! Stop being so sailfish with them that you can't even see them doing good to you anymore . if you realy think they don't love you then you should think about it a bit more than who's party's is next .
I do love you too but i am clearly not enough for you .
As long as you feel lonely , I WILL NOT MARY YOU . I never realy fink of marige , but i prefer finish my life alone that with someone who can't feel like she got enough and who always feel lonely .
Maybe that's hard for you to hear that but don't think that knowing that make me happy .
I do love you and i would have done anything for you but i will finish my life happy and the one with me too . NOBODY will stop me to end like that .
I am not always nice and happy with my life too BUT I KNOW WHO LOVE ME AND TAKE CARE OF ME .
I don't like hurting you but you realy need to wake up Aimee !
Post a Comment