Wednesday, March 25, 2009

and if I tell you, lover alone without love?

These past days she has cried bucketfuls. Her eyes have been red for days. Food becomes dust in her mouth. Songs seem to play over and over in her head, without pause. It pains her to think how true the words are. heartbreak is a universal hurt.

I have not had the chance to say everything to you. I suppose we did not talk enough. I have visited the bookstore where they play classical music and nobody can judge me. I could get lost in the publications of authors, strangers. None so strange as you. I saw the sadness in your eyes. I knew there was unfinished business. there were still things to say but I put up all pretences and, foolishly, put too much hope in you. At first I believed I was the one who was not worthy of your love, or anybody's love for that matter. But as I think of it now, I know that it wasn't me. It was you. I hold no anger, bitterness or hatred against your name. Disappointment, yes. I saw you were lost, but I stuck around to hold your hand. If only things had been different. You are now treading thin. Let me speak, let me finish this sentence! Don't come any closer. Don't do that again. True, our passion was well-painted. Our love was 'underwhelmed.' If you knew what was good for me why would I be loving you?

"And if I tell you, lover alone without love? What will happen, lover alone without love?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears."
Psalm 18:2-6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

1 comment:

Maximilien alias Gamaliel said...

I keep reading what you right in your blog , paragraph by paragraph i realy start to feel that i don't have my place here ... i gone go anyway ... i wish i was living here but in the same time i just want to go back to my old life .

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